Shout out to Miss Booysen

Teachers do really shape your future..

My absolute favourite teacher in highschool was Miss Ilsa Booysen, I just absolutely adored everything about her.

She was involved in almost all the extramural activities that I participated in, and she was probably one of the reasons why I would join, apart from the badges ofcourse.

When it came to teaching life science (Biology) her eyes would light up, she would become so up beat and happy.
When your teacher is teaching you with such enthusiasm you learn better, your mood changes and you associate the subject or lesson with the energy the teacher taught you with.
She had a passion for biology and she knew exactly what she was talking about. Watching her teach us about the brain was almost like watching a Broadway play. She would almost do backflips in class when it came to the brain.
All that excitement rubbed off on me and I knew whatever I did in my life it had to involve biology or atleast cognition or neuroscience.
I remember in grade 10 she said "never ever throw your grade 11 and 12 biology books away" and I listened.
Imagine my excitement when I got my cognitive psychology text book, I literally almost did backflips studying it today, I just couldn't put it down, page after page, hypothesis after hypothesis, I am intrigued because of the positive energy I learned to apply when learning about life science.

I am forever greatful to have had a teacher like her, she really did shape my future.

I am careful with my hope

love, trust, hope, faith..
What do these things mean to me? How do I use them?

love is when you admire someone and you want more of them and you want them to want you.. I believe that there are different types of love, but the love I'm writing about here is relationship love..

Love does not necessarily mean trust, one's love for someone might turn them into possessive overprotective people and that is the absence of trust.
Love may not necessarily have faith. one might not see a future with the one they love and that is the absence of faith..

In life, in my life I have loved, not allot but I have had atleast 2 relationships where I was truelly in love. One where love just wasn't enough to make it work and the other where love was based on vanity and materials.. Ofcourse love is common but true love is not easy to come by, true love is the kind of love that sets your heart on fire, the kind of love that just makes you want to risk it all. Not to confuse true love with lust ofcourse. When you are truly in love you just want to exist in the other person's life, you want to be there with them, for them, around them, you want to be a part of his life..

But when you give your all and get burned you lose hope.
I thought that this love was the love that lasted forever, I trusted him and all the dreams he sold me, I had faith in the love he said he had for me and most of all I had hope.. Hope is what keeps love alive, hope that it will last, hope that he'll keep his word, hope that the universe wants you too to be.. when hope is alive love is alive..

When I was burned by love I lost hope.. it wasn't a bad burn, just a first degree one, I healed pretty quickly because "I'm a boss Bch" but I lost hope..

I love, I continue to love but I love carefully, guarding this love, guarding my heart, guarding myself. I know not to involve hope, because once hope comes alive shields fall and once shields have fallen love is broken and hope is lost..

once hope is lost and found again it comes back different, bruised, and each time hope is bruised the more vulnerable love becomes, the weaker it becomes..

I am careful with my hope..

Destiny

I just want to go.. far away from here.. just pick a road and travel to the end of it. I want something new, a new scene, new people, new experiences..

This comfort zone is no longer comfortable, my bed is no longer welcoming, my pillows no longer comforts my head. I lay awake every night, sometimes tossing and turning, this house no longer feels like a home. I have over stayed my welcome.

The skies are grey, colours are dim, the silence is tormenting and there is nothing of my own.
I crave independence, I crave responsibility, I thirst for employment, I thirst for a living. My body wants to be alone, my mind is tired of the pointless chatter. I yurn for a conversation with like minded individuals my age, I crave friendship, I crave a social life. When I chose this life I never thought I'd be choosing prison, no way out, you stay, you cook, you clean, you study, you say please and thank you, you better exercise if you know what's good for you, or else. Church.. No friends allowed, no dating allowed. "we lock the gate at 6 in this house" you better not complain. you better be good. you better pray. you better drive that car where it needs to be driven and you had better be damn happy about it....

The winds of change please blow this way..
ohh destiny, please intervene..

The story of the bald frog with a wig

Well, there was once a young girl who believed wayyy too much in fairytails? The girl got sick, stage 2 luchemia. During chemotherapy she lost all her hair, so her best friend brought her different wigs every time she'd come visit. The little girl read the story about the princess and the frog. She was convinced that if she would kiss a frog she would be free from her cancer. And so one rainy day  while leaving the g
Hospital she saw a bald frog, the girl picked the frog up but couldn't bring herself to kissing it, she then gave the frog one of her wigs so he too wouldn't be bald.